Live-Blogging Top Chef 4.6 April 16, 2008Posted by Amy Yen in sports, Top Chef, TV.
Tags: Amy Yen, Chicago Bears, StrawGrasping, tailgating, television, Top Chef, Top Chef 4.6, Top Chef tailgating challenge, TV
9:59 – Previously, on Top Chef, Lisa & Dale hate each other. Also, the boring lesbian subplot of lameness is finally extinguished as the judges can’t justify keeping Zoi around for the fifth week in a row despite being a terrible chef.
10:00 – We open in the apartment again, as Spike tells us he “heard through the grapevine” that a lot of the chefs thought he should have gone home. Um. Actually, I think that they said that to your face, Spike. Also, get ready for tonight’s catch phrase: Jennifer is doing it for Zoi. Just in case you thought the boring lesbian subplot was over, don’t worry, it isn’t.
10:01 – Dale apologizes to Lisa for his freak-out last episode, but points out that he doesn’t apologize for the fact that Lisa is a whining complaining epicenter of negativity.
10:02 – To the kitchen for the Quickfire…beer! Nikki is thrilled. Padma introduces the guest judge, whose name I don’t catch, but since she is boring, I don’t really care. The challenge is to create a dish that pairs with a beer that they choose. Montage of product placement beers, followed by food frenzy. Jennifer says she’s doing it for Zoi. Of course she is.
10:05 – Antonia speed-walks by Dale & asks to steal some of his miso, which is cheerfully gives her. See? He’s not mean. I’ve decided I like Dale & not just because he’s the token Asian.
10:06 – Tasting. The lame test judge says about four words total throughout the walk-through, which simultaneously freaks out the contestants & bores the audience. Bottom 3…Nikki, Spike & Dale. Lisa is pleased that Dale sucked. Lisa clearly gets pleasure from other people’s suffering. Top 3…Richard’s bold flavors, Stephanie’s mussels & Jennifer’s doing-it-for-Zoi. Jennifer wins immunity. Spike is annoyed.
10:10 – The Elimination Challenge…the chefs are going to Soldiers Field & are going to cook for the tailgaters at the Bears game! Awesometown. Then we see three interviews, talking about the challenge, & Jennifer, who is—you guessed it—doing it for Zoi. God, we GET IT ALREADY.
10:11 – OMG Bud Light Lime looks disgusting.
10:14 – At the store, Spike & his stupid-hat-of-the-night sprints to the counter & buys all the chicken wings that exist in the store. The rest of the chefs curse him. Nikki is wearing sunglasses indoors, which is a major pet peeve of mine. You look ridiculous, Nikki. Ryan says he’s not a sports fan & kind of suggests that it’s obvious that he doesn’t look like a sports fan, only actually, you kind of do, dude. Like if I saw Ryan on the street, I’d probably think, hey, that guy is probably a sports fan.
10:17 – Back in the kitchen, the chefs talk about their dishes. You’ll never guess what Jennifer’s doing. That’s right, she’s doing it for Zoi. She’s actually doing an ode to Zoi. So she’s going to cook bad food then?
10:20 – The chefs tape the jam-packed product placement fridges shut & head back to the apartments. Once back, Spike & Mark get into a bubble bath together. Yes, it is just as awkward & weird as it sounds. Antonia interviews that it’s like a cheap porno. Spike interviews that he’s totally confident in his sexuality & if he wants to get in a tub with Mark, “the coolest guy in the house,” he’ll do it. WHAT? So weird. What is Bravo trying to set up here?
10:25 – Kathy Griffin is hosting Bravo’s first annual A-List Awards, therefore guaranteeing that I will never watch it.
10:27 – Back from commercials, we see Chicago’s kick-butt tailgating scene. So awesome. We see some nice product placement shots of the grills. The chefs get to choose whether to use a gas or charcoal grill. Food prep frenzy.
10:28 – The judges, including guest judge Paul Kahan, come in. Some Bears legends, whose names I didn’t catch or care about because GO COWBOYS, come by & distract Dale. Spike alienates all the fans by asking when was the last time the Bears won the Superbowl. Oooh, touchy topic, heh. The fans get to rate the food & will factor into judging.
10:30 – With a long line, Ryan starts working the crowd. He gets some of the fans to help him hand out food. Meanwhile, Andrew wears a ridiculous looking NFL-branded helmet while serving. He also acts like he’s on drugs while explaining his dish. That guy is so weird. His food, however, appears to be pretty good.
10:32 – The Bears are getting a ton of branding in this episode. All the food shots are on Bears branded paper plates. The judges are even wearing Bears jerseys with their names on the back. The NFL are such marketing geniuses to set this up.
10:35 – Mark is having issues with his prep & his station looks disgusting. He is also wearing 80’s sunglasses. What is it with these people & their sunglasses? Nikki’s dish is a crowd-pleaser, but some of her food has run out by the time the judges come by. Are you serious?? Come on. Did she forget she’s on a reality show called Top Chef? How do so many contestants on this show forget that?
10:37 – This week’s text-vote: “Who would you want to touch in touch football?” The choices are Padma, Tom or yourself. WHAT?? I seriously want to know who makes these up. Did their market research say they needed to be edgier with these this year? Also, who the hell actually texts in a vote? These are questions that need answers.
10:40 – Back room for judging. Padma calls Antonia, Dale & Stephanie in a really solemn tone despite the fact that we know that the first group is always the winners. Indeed, they are the fan favorites. Paul announces that Dale is the winner. Yay! That’s gonna piss Lisa off. Paul gives Dale a Bears jersey with “Top Chef” on the back & he also gets the product placement grill he cooked on. Dale awesomely gives the Sammy Sosa kiss-&-point-to-the-sky gesture. Padma says she has to “rain on his parade” by making him send the losers out. Does Padma know that it’s really not that big of deal for the winner to have to send the losers out? It’s actually kind of sweet for them.
10:45 – Dale sends Mark, Nikki & Ryan back out. Nikki tries to defend the fact that she ran out of all her food & PS: her shrimp has nothing to do with her dish. Ryan chose to do a bizarre dessert & the judges don’t get it. He tries to sell the “the crowd loved me” angle, but the judges ain’t buying. Also, putting aside the fact that his dish had nothing to do with tailgating, the food just kinda sucked. Touche, judges. The judges also complain about Mark’s presentation & food station. Apparently he tasted the soup with a spoon & then put the spoon back in the soup. EWW.
10:50 – Judging. Paul doesn’t like that Nikki didn’t make the sausage. She didn’t really do that much. Well, even if she did, she didn’t serve it. Ryan’s dish was totally not tailgating food. In the back, Nikki says that Tom C never shuts up when he’s destroying your dish. Well, that’s cause your dish sucked, Nikki. The judges continue to complain about Mark’s sloppy presentation. Decision time…
10:55 – Tom wins the text-vote, which is hilarious & disturbing at the same time.
10:56 – Tom’s self esteem destruction speech. Nikki didn’t make the sausage & if sausage is like a religion in Chicago, then not doing that has to be a sin, yes? Ryan didn’t make tailgating food & besides that, it just kind of sucked. Mark needs to not be disgusting… It’s Ryan! Ryan actually gives a decent, humble goodbye speech. I’m still not at all sad to see him go. Like, there are about five other chefs still left that all need to leave as soon as possible.
10:58 – Next time on Top Chef, more chefs fall into the making pastry trap. You would think that at this point, if you’re going on that show, you’d learn like one decent pastry dish. Apparently I’m not properly evaluating the mind of the potential reality show contestant. Also, something about improv comedy. Confusing.